may these words speak for themselves...
(taken fromthe upcoming book "Out of Thick Jungle"

...I felt a strong possibility that in addition to finding Jose, I might also finally find the cave I had been searching for the last two years.
I first heard about darkness meditations from the book Living with the Himalayan Masters, by Swami Rama. He had lived for 11 months in a cave only drinking goat milk as his final process of self realization. At the time it seemed pretty ‘out there’ to me.
The idea came a bit closer to home after my Buddhist friend Carl Rabke in Salt Lake City sat for a 48 hour darkness retreat in his closet.
Since then the historical relevance of darkness retreats throughout the world’s mystery schools kept piling up. Darkness retreats played a crucial role in the Left Eye of Horus initiation training of the Egyptian Mystery schools. Graduating initiates were given the ultimate challenge to crawl into the absolute darkness of the King’s Chamber of the Great Pyramid where they faced their greatest fears.
Within indigenous tribes of Columbia, South America, future shamans are identified while still infants and taken into complete darkness for a period of nine years as to first develop their ability to navigate in the spiritual world before even learning what the physical world looks like.
And then to top it off I recently heard that Taoist Master, Mantok Chia, had opened up a five star darkness retreat center in Thailand. His website outlined the physiology of darkness. After five days the pineal gland thinks that the body has died and begins to excrete excessive amounts of melotonin which transforms over the next couple of days through a series of chemical reactions to Di-Methyltryptamine, DMT, the psycho-active ingredient of Soma from India and the Ayahuasca vine from Peru.
There was more information, but that was enough for me to decide I was ready to enter the darkness. Ever since leaving the meditation hut up on Mount Elphinstone, I had been putting out the energy to manifest a cave well suited to use for a retreat. Throughout all my travels from Canada to Costa Rica, I searched hillsides and canyons, looking for a suitable cave, only to be discouraged by damp, moldy, insect ridden, poorly ventilated caves. Somehow I knew El Portrero Chico would be the place.
After eating a hearty dinner, I took out my didjeri-doo and walked out into the night. I played for a few minutes to sink into a deep trance, focused all of my intention on the vision I had for a perfect cave and asked the great spirit to guide me. A few minutes later I heard a cow bell off in the distance. I stopped playing and heard it clang again.
“That is my cue.” I said aloud to bolster my confidence about walking into the night following the sound of a cow bell. I hiked up the river bed for a while, then stopped and sank back into a didjeri-doo meditation, the sound waves connecting my roots to the crystal core center of the earth, and my wings to the celestial bodies in the heavens above. Focus on the vision.
Sure enough, I heard the cow bell in the same direction but further away. It was leading me somewhere, hopefully to a cave. I walked a mile up to where the river bed narrowed and was strewn with boulders. It seemed improbable that the cow went further up the river bed. So I played again and a number of cows just up ahead answered almost instantly. I scrambled up the river bed, well impressed by the agility of the cows and suddenly came face to face with a massive horned bull. We peered into each other’s eyes for a moment and then it broke the silence - Mooooo!
I responded with a guttural tuvan throat chant, “Meueueueueueueu…”
Eye to eye, I and I, bull human, one love, one being.
He broke the silence that lasted after our greeting with a snort, then turned and bolted up into the forest above the river. The entire herd fleet footed in pursuit.
“Mexican cows have soul.” I exclaimed as I wandered up river to find increasingly steep walls and many possible cave locations. I searched up stream and found a spring, but no caves. I decided to come back in the light and do a thorough search.
In the morning Robert, who’s been a spelunker longer than a climber, was keen to help look. We headed up the river bed, past where I had met the cows and covered a couple miles up into the foothills. Robert had a nose for caves like a hound for foxes. He found over a dozen sink holes and mini caves, some that would have worked, but nothing like I had envisioned. As the noon day sun rose overhead, we aimed home.
“Not bad for our first morning.” He noted.
“Yeah, not bad.” I said although I had truly believed the cows had led me to the perfect cave. I stopped at the spring to fill up a jug while Robert kept walking down the river bed.
“Hey check this out!” I heard him yell from down below. He was standing right where I met the first cow and tucked under a sandstone overhang was a cave with a large domed ceiling and a sandy bottom. The cave was big enough for four or five people and only required a small wall to be built to make it completely dark. It was perfect for the retreat. It even had a 15 boulder problem on the roof.
When we walked out into the light I thanked Robert, the cows and great spirit for guiding me to the cave.

When we arrived back at the car we met Don Jesinto, the 84 year old ex-police chief of the town of Hidalgo, whose land we happened to land on the night before. Rather than kick us off as we suspected he would, he graciously invited us to stay and gave us a tour of his primitive, yet elegant garden with beautiful giant cactuses, a few fruit trees and a clean water source.
The place was beautiful. We called it “El Corazon del Portrero” and began making it our home. Before he left us, Don Jesinto said, “Remember to always shut the gate.” Over the next few days we climbed a little, hiked a lot and met climbers from all around the world, most notably a mystic, named Memo from Monterrey, who joined us in “El Corozon.” But no Jose.
Christmas came and went and still no Jose. We were joined at our camp by several more high spirited climbers and the Heart of the Portrero was quickly beginning to feel like a healing sanctuary. Several days later I got an email from Jose saying he was at El Portrero Chico and he was wondering where I was. Although the Portrero was large, there were only a few campgrounds and one internet café. It seemed highly unlikely that we could miss each other. But we did.
For an entire week we were both in the tiny town of Hidalgo, climbing and hanging out in the same places, but unable to see one another. On New Years eve, I checked my email, and he had emailed me from the same terminal only 15 minutes before.
I was confounded. Jose and I had journeyed to together throughout the physical and higher dimensional realms, he had carried me out of the jungle, we had entered each others dreams, we were spiritual partners and now we can’t even connect in this speck of a town.
In his email he said there would be a rave at Homero’s campground for New Year’s and I could meet him there. That afternoon, I started getting mysterious flu symptoms and barely had the energy to hike down to Homero’s. Half the night passed and still no Jose.
Then finally while dancing, trying to push the mysterious illness out of my body, I saw him. He walked right by me as if I wasn’t there. I followed him and said “Jose Louis!” as heard his mother called for him in Venezuela.
“Scott?” He said as he turned around and we stared into each other’s eyes.
Three years had transformed us both. While I had lost muscle mass, and acquired a beard and dread locks, his former lythe, relaxed body was now bulging with muscles and very tense. His eyes, still infinitely deep, seemed shadowed and I felt an immediate motherly concern for him.
He asked me how my ankles were. When I told him “like new,” a huge smile broke out on his face and I saw peace radiate out through him like an angel who had just accomplished a task it had been sent down here to see through.
We spoke briefly about his book. He turned academic and lost me in twisted, obtuse reasoning.
“How’s your heart Jose?” I asked, and he paused from his monolog on quantum physics to look up at me. But before he could answer, he became distracted with negotiations and helping to organize the rave. As I watched his interactions with people, I again felt anxious that he was surrounding himself with beings whose intentions were impure.
“Am I being overly nurturing or protective of him?” I asked myself, but I continued to see him obscured by a shadow, and I felt compelled to “take him out of here.”
As the night progressed I invited him to come with us up to our sanctuary in the Portrero, but he insisted he needed to stay with the DJs. He said he would join us the next day.
My flu symptoms worsened and when my companions decided to leave, I agreed to go. Jose and I embraced and as our hearts met, I felt a river of healing love flow into him.
Afterwards he looked up at me and said, “I love you too, Tenasi.”
That was the last time I ever saw my friend, my teacher, my spiritual partner Jose Louis Pererya in his physical body. We missed each other again and again over the next three days, and on the fourth, the first new moon after winter solstice, he fell to his death while attempting to do the first free ascent of a notoriously dangerous route “Las Auras” up the 3,000 foot face of El Toro.
For five months northern Mexico had suffered draught. The day after Jose’s fall it stormed, and continued to storm for the next 12 days. The campgrounds that had been maxed-out a week ago were now empty. Jose’s parents and sister flew in for his transcendence ceremony joined by over a hundred climbers and locals. Jose’s presense spread its wings and flew across the mystical mountains of the Haustecca, home to the Huichal gods as his sister cast his ashes up into the sky.
“No one being has had such an impact on my spiritual development as Jose Louis Pererya.” I told his mother, who had helped nurse me back to health in Caracas after my fall five years earlier.
I was crushed by Jose’s sudden departure. There was so much that I wanted to share with him – the truths I had learned, yogic practices, purifications techniques, and my connection with the rainbow family of love and light.
In all the wisdom that he had shared with me, there was a certain code of living – keep searching, stay free, don’t have children… He never said anything about dying.
Also I felt a strong sense of guilt. Had I not seen the darkness around him? Why hadn’t I been insistent or stayed with him? “Maybe if I … Maybe… Maybe everything is perfect and is meant to be the way it is.”
I heard Jose’s words, my words, the words of universal consciousness transcending time. We are children of the Universe, we have been here before and we will be here again. Soul immortal, body energetic, we are eternal beings of light. In the evolution of the human spirit, the countdown to the end of the great cycle December 21, 2012 winter solstice at 11:11 a.m. continues. The earth is the universal stage for the approaching shift. Beings from all over the galaxy are peering in, the lucky ones stepping into these human earthsuits, some prenatal, others like my friend Ray Sol walk-ins.
Maybe Jose didn’t fall, he jumped… Why? Jose the nagual, shaman, shapeshifter. Every word he spoke was a lesson, every action with a purpose. I remembered the words of his climbing partner who broke through waves of teary emotions and said, “I saw a smile on his face as he flew by.”
I walked down the river bed and passed the spot where I met the bull the first night in the Portrero. My mind wandered… Jose astrological sign Taurus, instead of seeing him, I meet a bull, then he falls off the mountain called “El Torro”… the cave! It is time for me to enter the heart of darkness. There I will contact Jose.
With storms bombarding the Portrero daily, my friends Robert, Robert, Tim, and Heath all set there sites back in the States. That left Tenasi and Memo, stalwarts to remain.
Those blessed angels of the Heart of the Portrero, they left us with such beautiful gifts. The canvas tent that held our library and craft studio for making drums and didjeridoos, a cooler to keep the ants and cows out of our precious sprouting grains. Climbing shoes, a harness, and a pyramid tent for this nomad yogi. And plenty of food. Memo had not a dime to his name and I was down to my last twenty dollars. But I planned on fasting in the cave. Money will appear when it is needed.
I sent them off with dijeridoos and then Heath surprised me by leaving his beautiful Shiko drum. Give and you shall receive. Before leaving Costa Rica, I gave my friend Ishmael my djembe, and with it he earned his daily bread. Now a rhythm maker was given to me. Ahh jah works in mysterious ways.
I set to work immediately, digging out the bottom of the cave so it would be deep enough to stand in. The cave I chose was an old mind shaft that Heath had spotted a mere 50 feet from the dome shaped cave. The shaft went straight in for a few feet then angled down about 15 feet then it turned to the left, dipped down another step and then went back for another 50 feet. When I found it the entire back section had been half-filled with mud and only had a clearance of two and a half feet.
Memo joined me to help dig. A couple candles flickered around us.
“There’s a draft down here.” Memo noticed, “that’s good.”
We were lucky, the weather was frigid outside and wet. The cave was already feeling like home. We dug a space big enough for me to lie down and make a snow angel. With a clearance of less than five feet, we hit rock and stopped digging. “That will have to do.”
For the next few days, I built a series of adobe walls at the entrance to block out all light from entering the cave. Wood is scarce in the desert, but Memo found a patch of bamboo only a few miles away and we carried bundles up to the cave. Next came the adobe. Basically the entire floor of the Portrero is adobe waiting to be mixed with cow poop, ash, sand from the river bed and a little water. I few days later I finished up by building candle holders outside of the entrance and scripting a plaque in honor of Jose.
I didn’t know how long I was going to stay in the cave. I hope to be finished preparing by full moon so I could stay in for half a moon cycle. Preparations took me a couple days longer, but everything was perfect.
On the full moon, Memo showed up with a handful of irie Quebecaus. We blazed a fire and played music long into the night. I stayed up through the dawn, entranced in mantra
“Jai Santo Shi Ma… Jah santosh y ma...”
Venus the morning star burned high in the heavens and I held it as my bindu or point of focus. Chant the name of God Goddess and hold steady your gaze, not wavering…
And you shall see.
I decided to continue my mantra meditation until I could no longer see the planet. After sunrise, with the sky already very blue, Venus started spinning, then releasing waves of white light sparks and rays. An hour later I was still focused and it began to pulsate and expand like a disc. From within appeared an angelic figure who spiraled through the heavens and disappeared over the northwest horizon and shortly thereafter, returned to Venus.
Such a beautiful vision. What possibly could it mean?
Around nine a.m. shortly before the sun peaked into the Portrero Venus finally slipped back into the invisible heavens and I allowed my mantra to rest. With a fresh blast of sunlight to warm me up, I hiked up to finish the final modifications of the cave. The next afternoon, I called home to let my sister and parents know that I was going into an extended meditation.
First I reached my sister and she tells me my grandmother passed away earlier that morning in Sacramento, California. I recalled the angel descending to the north west. Then my mother informs me that a brush fire swept up the mountain they live on, and barely missed torching their house because of the valiant efforts of my father, who intuitively flew home from Sacramento the day before the fire.
An auspicious day to enter the cave.
As a final luxury I hacked off some palm leaves from La Pagoda Inn to put on the floor of the cave. I stocked myself with three gallons of water, a bucket to pee in and a half dozen limon dulces, sweet lemons, from a tree down the street. I planned to fast for the duration of my retreat, but in hopes of avoiding the sudden desire to eat upon exiting from the cave, I brought kamut and rye seeds to start sprouting a few days before I planned to leave.
Memo volunteered to make the half hour trek up to the cave and check on me every few days, bring me water and take out my pee bucket.
With that I said my final blessings to the sun, moon and celestial bodies that I would be separated from for the longest time of my life.
With me I took my drum and didjeri-doo and I entered the cave. Two days after the first winter full moon in year 2003, Mayan date Rhythmic Hand, knows accomplishment, organize balance with equality.
The first night went by instantly as I fell sound asleep, exhausted from running loads up to the cave and feeling the warmth and comfort of the womb of the earth. Some time the next morning I awoke and was surprised to see subtle rays of light bending around the baffles, down the mine shaft, around the corner and into my space.
Also my skin itched. I hadn’t bathed after all the adobe construction. I must be clean to enter the temple of darkness. Without hesitation, I emerged back out of the cave into the brilliant sunlight, ran back to camp built a fire, heated my bath water, searched out a suitable blanket to hang between the baffled walls and block the remaining hint of light. The wind was howling and the skies still menacing so I bathed in our canvas tent library. With the dwindling coals of the fire I brewed a large jar of herbal tea to take with me. On the way back up to the cave I snagged a few more limon dulces.
Now I was ready to enter the Temple of Darkness.


Stare into the Darkness

I entered the cave without expectations, but I definitely had goals. During my first hours in the cave I verbalized my intentions.
“First of all, I respect the power of darkness and set my intentions on allowing this power to cleanse “WITH EASE AND GRACE” in “MANAGEABLE DOSES” whatever impurities of mind, body or spirit might still be lurking within the folds of my subconscious being.”
Very familiar was I with the symbolism of the Medussa. The woman with snakes coming out of her head. These snakes represent the fears unleashed by the power of darkness in the initiates of the ancient mystery schools.
I prayed, “That I have the strength and courage to face whatever the darkness might reveal, so as to aid the evolution of my human spirit, so that I be able to obtain complete liberation within this lifetime, so that I may most effectively carry on the universal work of God/Goddess.

I had one major goal in the physical plane. For three years I had been learning the art of drumming, slowly progressing along the evolution of my rhythmic body that had been accidently executed by the off-hand comments of an elementary school teacher years ago. “Having mastered a few basic rhythms, I will focus in the cave on developing the skills to play 6:8 rhythms where the left and right hands each follow different patterns.”

I first began meditating in 1989, since 1998 I had been meditating daily and in that time I had witnessed subtle degrees of inner awakening. My dreams had become consistently lucid, the chattering of my monkey mind periodically silenced, and union with my own inner light consistent. Both my visual and aural intuitions, however, were awakening slowly. Only rarely, usually coinciding with long fasts, silent retreats, intense sessions of powerful breathwork, or psycho-active plant medicines, was I able to tune into my fifth dimensional light body and begin to navigate the celestial world and hear the voices of my ancestors calling me.
“During my darkness retreat I focus on awakening my ajna chakra, third eye, center of intuition and telepathy. I further place intention on being able to master basic galactic navigation and conscious soul travel within the fifth dimensional world. With that ability I aspire to connect to other highly evolved incarnated beings, the ascended masters, as well as Jose and my deceased grandmother.”
These were my primary objectives in the cave, but I had a few additional goals. Along the yogic path of union, I have witnessed a constant self-evolution towards liberation. Initially liberation from suffering and drama. Then liberation from vices, habits, dependencies, expectations, desires. Then as I began internal cleansing I experienced liberation from hunger and sleep. As I developed manipura, the third chakra, I experienced degrees of liberation from temperature variation.
“In this darkness retreat, I open myself to the possibility of further developing a few yogic sidhis. I believe the liberated, Christ-like yogi in his/her truly divine form must be liberated from all human needs. So why do I always carry a headlamp and a lighter to make fire? Both the ability to shine as the saints of old and the power to ignite fire are our divine gifts that we need only to reclaim.”

The timing of my darkness retreat was crucial. Before I entered, the United States was preparing itself for yet another Bush War, this time to oust Saddam Hussien from power in Iraq. All the free world cried out in protest, the United Nations did not support the war, yet the lone super power, and its cohort Britain, decided they didn’t need the world’s approval in this New World Order. The September 11th attack on America gave President Bush and 88 percent approval rating by the American masses and a blank check for continuing the War on Terror. To continue playing on American fear, the Bush team conjured up rumors that despite ten years of economic sanctions and investigations by an international team of inspectors, Saddam Hussein was hording weapons of mass destruction and further more that he was allied with his “buddy” Asama Bin Laden and the Al Quaida network of terrorists.
With the real reasons for the war hidden deep in the quagmire of power, control, greed and fear, hundreds of thousands of Americans took to the streets to march for Peace. Many of these peace promoters were physically assaulted, tear gassed and arrested by well organized storm trooper’esque police squads. Under the new Federal Emergency Measures Act (FEMA), American’s had lost their basic rights of freedom of speech. Anyone speaking out against the war could be accused as an enemy of the State and arrested as a terrorist.
While the major media banned coverage of the peace marches and outcries from the compassionate beings within the United States and around the world, the internet offered the truth as radio free Europe had during the second world war.
Although tempted to join my brothers and sisters protesting the war in the major population centers before entering the cave, I committed myself to working for peace on the higher dimensional planes. Shortly before entering the cave I was informed about a world wide meditation for peace being organized by light workers Greg Braden and Erick Tilden. The day of the meditation was to happen on day 16 of my darkness retreat.
“I aspire to be galactically awake enough at that time to consciously participate in the meditation from the cave.”

My first three days in the cave melted into an extended dreamy slumber, interrupted by brief periods of meditation, the sacred peeling and eating of sweet lemons, and the quieting of my busy mind. Curled up into my little nest of blankets, I felt warm and secure. True to Memo’s observation the cave was well ventilated, I could even feel a slight draft when the winds howled outside. I slept soundly until I woke up to the sound of foot steps approaching… not from outside but from within the cave. Big footsteps.
A flood of fear swept over me. I had “kind of” explored the back of the cave, but not completely. What manner of beast was now descending upon me for a snack as I lay, blinded and helpless.
The foot steps grew louder. Dun Dun… Dun Dun…Dun Dun
The hair on the back of my neck bristled and I brought my hands up onto my chest.
Dun Dun… Dun Dun…Dun Dun
I could feel the vibration of the beast’s footsteps in my chest. And then a hint of clarity, my heartbeat, Dun Dun… Dun Dun…Dun Dun. It was so loud it was echoing off the walls of the cave. I released a big sigh. And then my monkey mind spoke out in defense, “See I knew there wasn’t anything back there. I checked for tracks on the sand.”
For the rest of my retreat I had to focus out the sound of my own heartbeat to hear the subtler sounds of silence.
My sense of time quickly took on its own shift. As I had no idea whether it was day or night outside, time had no meaning. I slept for a while, meditated for a while and wondered if a day had passed, or only a few hours.
The dreams I had during this period were exceedingly clear. I went searching for my grandmother, and arrived at the nursing home where she spent her final days. The receptionist told me she had already passed away so I decided to give my regards to the other residents. As I made my rounds I found her room, peeked my head inside and saw her corpse lying on the bed. Instantly she sat straight up in bed and said hello to me.
“Hello Baba” I said “They told me you had already passed away.”
“No, don’t be silly.” She answered, “I just pretended so that you mother and sister would stop worrying about me.”
For the next several sleep sessions I visited her, and each time she sat right up and greeted me, although the appearance of her physical body deteriorated rapidly. On my fourth visit, she sat up out of her ashes. I presumed she had been cremated that day.
I paid my father several visits and saw him vividly setting up fans to clear the lingering smoke from the long hallways in their house.
Then again I was woken up to the sound of approaching footsteps. This time they were clearly coming from outside the cave. I few moments later, I heard Memo shuffling his way down the dark passage. He brought with him a gift from some locals in town who knew I was in the cave – dried fruit and a few pecan halves.
I knew better than to refuse such a precious gift. I savored each morsel over the next several sleep/meditation cycles. During this next phase of the retreat, roughly days three to five, my meditation periods became longer and longer. I realized that achieving completely focused meditation was what the cave experience was all about. When in normal life does one have the silence, the time, the darkness and the absolute focus to sink into deep meditation?
Jose approached me several times in dreamland during these days. The first time I heard his voice but I was unable to spot him. The second time I looked around through the dreamscape and found a rectangular ice chest. He was in it, and he said he had to remain hidden.
These were probably the toughest days of the retreat, as during waking hours I was truly sitting in the darkness. I didn’t see much, just occasional flashes of light and colored orbs floating by. Whenever I attempted to tune into my fifth dimensional energy body, I saw the hazy blue body being but was unable to bring it into focus.
To fill the long expanses of time and to rapidly clean my energetic body, I practiced hours of Pranayama, exercised my bandhas and mudras, connected my microcosmic orbit with the earth, sun and celestial bodies. I began vocal toning, throat chanting, and explored the harmonics of the cave at different resonant frequencies. I recited the Gaia yoga vowel sounds, Mantak Chia’s organ sounds and worked towards mastery of circular toning.
As the muscles in my throat wore out, I remembered I had my dijeri-doo.
So I played, and played and played, passing hours or lifetimes whichever came first. Dijeri-doo is one of the most powerful (and enjoyable) forms of Pranayama and meditation. It was while playing the didjeri-doo on the beach in California, under a starry sky with a small fire, that I first began to feel my energetic nadis flow and connect with mother earth, father sun and the archetypl energies of god/goddess. Since then, the didjeri-doo has became an essential self-healing tool whenever I feel energetically stagnated or drained.
So it came to no surprise to me in the depths of the cave, once I had settled into a deep trance with the rolling drone of the didjeri-doo, that I would also forge an energetic connection with the celestial bodies that were hidden from my view.
I began to feel an abundance of physical energy from spending so much time sitting so I began a regiment of asana yoga and physical exercises including push-ups, sit-ups, leg lifts, hand standpush-ups and dips. With my skeletal muscles flowing with blood , I brought out my new drum and slowly began tapping out the awkward 6:8 rhythm that I had memorized before entering the cave.
Memo returned frequently during these days and once even brought a small group of curious climbers who all squeezed into the chamber. I cherished the time with my guests. Although not yet visible to my inner eye, I could feel the energy of their enthusiasm and support they offered me.
The next day Memo returned again, completely disheveled and distressed. I sensed it in his being before he descended into the chamber. Exasperated, he told me, “Tenasi something very terrible has happened. I am so sorry.”
I wondered what horror had now struck the Portrero.
“I made a big mistake,” he said. “So stupid… I left the gate open and the cows, those pincho cows, came in and destroyed Don Jesinto’s garden. They ate everything, the baby fruit trees the giant cactuses, and they stampeded the garden you planted. “
The vision he painted was horrible yet somehow comical. “It’s OK Memo, you made a mistake, we can replant the garden…”
“No it’s not OK!” He wailed, “Don Jesinto saw it and he broke down in tears. Then he erupted in anger and kicked me, you, all of us, out of El Corozon. I don’t know what do do. All of our stuff, the work we have done. We need to move it all out right away.”
“El Corozon del Portrero” I said, and saw the vision we had for the beautiful sustainable retreat center collapse. Could the vision possibly be over in an instant? Can we restore the garden and restore Don Jesinto’s trust in us? Is this a sign that I should get out of the cave and help restore harmony, or is it a distraction from maya to tempt me out of the cave.
“What should we do?” asked Memo again.
“Right now why don’t you rest for a while.” I offered and he soon fell asleep.
While he was asleep I meditated on the situation and decided that I would stay in the cave. When he awoke we decided that he should find new wild cactuses to transplant in the garden, and offer to help repair all damage. If Don Jesinto still wanted us out, then he would try to find a place for our gear until I came out of the cave.
I didn’t know it at the time, but when he left, I wasn’t to see another human being for eight days, during which time I experienced the most accelerated spiritual evolution of my life.
I sat and stared out into the darkness and observed. I experimented with different forms of breathwork to see which ones affected my inner vision. As lights started to emerge out of the darkness, I set myself to the scientific task of learning to focus my third eye. I practiced shifting perspectives, from left to right, above and below. I drew visions closer and let them drift away. I opened my two physical eyes and closed them to notice slight differences in what I saw. I began to feel subtle shifts in the center of my forehead which reminded me of the sensations I felt while learning to reconnect severed nerves in my leg after my fall. I remembered that I was trying to reawaken a vital human organ that has been paralyzed, asleep, unused for generations.
By day seven I became cosmically aware. My fifth dimensional light body became visible and I was able to focus on an energy (or light being) and locate it in the terrestrial realm. I began by attempting to connect with my brother Destino, who I knew to be up in British Columbia living near Mount Elphinstone. As soon as I focused on his energy, I was brought down to earth and saw him lumbering across barren landscape on the back of some prehistoric looking beast. He was too focused on his journey to notice me.
I then shifted my focus to Jah Key, an awakened Goddess sister from Vancouver who had taught me a beautiful song which I had lost in the fire before I had a chance to commit it to memory. I visualized her being and guessed a location of B.C. I saw a cluster of bright lights twinkle and then I saw an image of her. I asked her about the song, waited, and then saw a wave of orange energy, rolling along a two dimensional surface and sail my way. As it reached me I saw that it was flattened text of the first verse of the song.

The more that I give
The more I got to give
And the way that I live
Is what I am living for

A satisfied grin spread over my face as I sang the words in proper melody. I repeated it a few times and asked for the second verse. The same procedure repeated.

Deep inside my heart
I got this everlasting light
It’s shining like the sun
It radiates on everyone

“Sweet blessings sister Jah Key.” I said and saw a twinkle flash from her eye.
For the next few days I sought out friends and family, people whose energy was familiar to me, who I could easily focus on. I visited my mother and saw her holding a poster board sign with “WE LOVE YOU” printed on it.
I entered my sisters house in Sacramento and found her whole family spending a lazy morning in bed. I approached the bed and came up to the level of the mattress to observe.
To my surprise, her three year old daughter Morgan, looked directly at me and exclaimed, “Look its Uncle Nasi!”

By day 10 in the cave, I gained the ability to instantly locate my helper, my fifth dimensional higher self. Sometimes this light body took on the appearance of me sitting in meditation and sometimes it floated above me very similar to Aladin’s genie. I realized that this genie was the amorphous swirling of lights that I saw unfocused in my meditation for years. In the cave I learned how to focus my third eye and shift the perspective that I viewed out of it from the left to the right side.
I soon learned to communicate with my genie self and found that it would answer questions if they were presented in proper form.
I asked to view within my own body to explore my ascending colon where nagging parasites had lodged themselves in me while living in Costa Rica. The genie transformed into the inside of my stomach, and from there I slid through the long winding tube of my small intestine before emerging into the larger diameter ascending colon. In front of me I saw large worms burrowed into the walls of my intestine. Their heads were exposed loomed ominously.
Before I even asked for help, a team of wolves appeared and devoured the worms. As they licked up the remnants, they began howling triumphantly.
I asked to go down to my ankle, and saw the matrix of healed bone fragments, but I noticed a few black holes remaining. I focused healing regenerative light there and felt my ankle grow warm.
As I gained confidence in my ability to navigate on the terrestrial and internal planes, I became curious about other parts of the cosmos and projected myself out beyond the earth’s atmosphere. Floating in space I ran into all types of beings. At first all being that I saw appeared translucent. Loving beings were identified by a beating heart of exaggerated proportion. More sinister beings just looked menacing. Many other beings seemed lost and suffering.
I aligned myself with God/Goddess energy of the sun and earth, and ventured forth to offer pure love to any beings who seemed to be suffering. After sharing with a great number of beings, I noticed several large floating docks of people sitting in front of computer or TV screens. A few of these people were not engaged and were free to see me floating by. Most of them, however, had their heads buried into the screen. As they engaged in the computer, I saw a yellow arm come out of the screen and swallow the head of the person using it. I asked what this meant and I was shown a close-up of several people whose life force was being sucked out of them.
I pulled back away from the dock and I saw platform after platform, some small with 10 people on them and others larger with hundreds of people. Each platform was being monitored by one non-human looking being with a long neck, a horse-like head and reptilian jaw. As I flew over each platform the monitor made frantic gestures to send me on my way. I floated back even further and I saw an endless wave of these platforms with humans plugged into them.
I approached one of the smaller platforms and sent out a wave of love in the conscious form of a message, “Hello children of God. Are you aware of your energy? Are you applying yourself in balance with love, truth and wisdom for the benefit of all sentient beings. Are you directly in the light and love of God/Goddess? If not, you are free to choose your path.”
I witnessed different reactions from my message. Some people pulled their head out briefly and then plugged back in. Others pulled out, looked around, shook their heads as if coming out of a daze, and then jumped off the platform. And still others never even pulled away form their screens.
I flew from platform to platform, sharing my message. And each time a group jumped ship. The monitors became furious at me and began to hiss and snarl at me. I remained connected with the love and power of God/Goddess and knew that I was protected. After some time, several similar looking reptile beings floated out from behind a large platform. They flew directly at me and attacked me with unknown weapons. But my alignment with God/Goddess remained strong. I knew I was acting as a being of light, for the good and service of all of God’s children. And their repeated attacks had no effect on me.
After sharing my message with many platforms and witnessing many people disengage, I felt drawn to explore other parts of the cosmos. The lessons I learned from the experience remained with me. In the seven long years since my first encounter with spirit down in Torres del Paine, I had learned to place my complete faith in the power of divine spirit. Over time, as I acquired wisdom and sacred teachings, the nature of divine spirit evolved in my consciousness to include both the masculine and feminine, God and Goddess archetypal deities. I had learned to sink my roots to the crystal core center of mother earth to connect with her infinite compassion. I had learned to feel the solar power of our father the sun, the rhythm of sister moon, and the heart centered connection with the universal family of love and light. But somewhere lurking deep in the shadows of my being, was the lingering fear that there might be some other power, some force that was greater than our earthly God/Goddess. This experience with the reptilian beings on the computer platforms strengthened my resolve and faith that there truly is no greater force.
Cruising through the near-earth cosmos, I encountered all types of non-human beings, most of whom were aware of my presence, but didn’t seem to care. The few that did, turned towards me, exposed their hearts and we shared pure unconditional love. Each interaction seemed to leave each of us brighter.
Then flying through a more remote area, I encountered a woman wearing some sort of a tribal tunic. She seemed interested in me and flew past me several times. Her motion was peculiar, almost mechanical. I didn’t see her heart, but wondered if it wasn’t just obscured by the tunic. I turned towards her and instead of reciprocating, she crouched and released a slow moving dart towards me.
“Silly sister.” I said, “What are you trying to do? Your darts cannot harm me, I am connected with the love of…”
And before I could even finish the sentence, the little dart pierced my bodies, both my fifth dimensional energy body and my physical body.
She laughed menacingly and raced off.
“A sorcerer!” I said and came out of meditation.

The pin prick was lodged in my chest, above my heart, and I could feel it as if it was stuck between my ribs. I had experienced the same feeling in Costa Rica when I opened myself up unwittingly to a powerful rainbow brother tainted with black magic. Such sorcery is characteristic of shamans still trapped in duality. Not yet able to completely align themselves with the love of God/Goddess, they remain dependent on acquiring their power by stealing it from other people. Many such shamans are amazingly evolved beings who have yet to make the last steps to complete union.
How sorcerors are able to produce these enegetic darts, I do not no. Nor do I know how the darts are able to pierce the light body aligned with the power of God/Goddess. What I have learned is how to avoid them and how to remove the darts if they do manage to sink into your being. To avoid them use Tai Chi, whether the sorcerer be in the physical or the energetic plane. The key is to be highly aware when you are around such sly beings and it is best to distill the energy from them before the dart is even released – Qigong.
How to dislodge a dart that has entered your being? There are many ways. The best would be to return into the loving care of elfin or goddess healing energy. However until the rainbow corridor, or global network of harmonious eco/healing villages is established, such a luxury is not always available to the light worker/warrior in the depths of Babylon.
For me, alone in the cave, the cure was yoga. I used Pranayama to increase my energy field, asana to locate the exact location of the dart, visualization and acu-pressure to ease it out. Such self-healing is not easy, but it is possible.

Never forget to give thanks and praise
Give Thanks Give Thanks
Give Thanks and Praise

Many days had passed since I last saw my friend Memo. I wondered what might have befallen him. I tried to tap into his energy to see what was going on, but I was unable to in meditation. In the next sleep cycle, however I had a dream where I saw him, sitting outside a ran-shacked house next to a river with a refrigerator full of eggs and ham.
When I awoke I surveyed my own supplies. I was down to my last half gallon of water, so I started drinking more of my urine. After 12 days fasting, it was really pure and tasted fine. I knew if need be, I could sustain myself on it indefinitely.
Around day 13, seven days since Memo had last visited me, an interesting phenomenon occurred. A luminoius light appeared from behind my head casting a shimmering blue tint on the walls of the cave. I turned around to see where it was coming from and as soon as I did so the light faded. A few moments later it returned and I began to see the various objects in the cave – my drum and didjeridoo, the water bottles.
The inside of my cave started to look like space ship. However I found out “Things are not always as they seem.”
The boundaries of the space ship didn’t always match up with the physical boundaries. I found this out the hard way by bumping my head and stubbing my fingers a few times as I went to grab something. The energetic interior of the cave wavered as if underwater and it took time to learn to physically navigate within it.
I experimented with my ability to see in this manner, and soon noticed that it didn’t matter if my eyes were open or closed. I also noticed that my perception of the cave interior changed slightly if I looked predominantly out the left or right side of my inner eye. Shifting my perspective back and forth became an effective focusing tool.

Inspired by my ability to see, I decided to try to create fire. I reached up onto the shelf, pulled down a candle, and placed it on the floor in front of me. I wasn’t really sure how to go about creating fire without rubbing sticks together, but I had seen it done by an martial artist. First he generated lots of chi and then, rubbing his hands together, let forth an energetic discharge that set a newspaper on fire. So I began to stir my inner fire, opening the gates, energizing, bringing the energy down to my hands and visualized the candle wick catching fire, and, just as I swung my hands down to the candle, the force redirected them over to the side and my hand banged into the drum.
I looked to my genie for support. I received a muted response of raised eye brows, encouraging and compassionate, yet at the same time curious.
I repeated my performance over and over for hours trying to discharge the chi in the form of fire, and a couple more times my hands were drawn over to my drum. Finally I looked at my genie and said, “Genie, I don’t want to play my drum right now, I want to learn to make fire.”
My genie blinked eyes and very calmly said, “You must learn to walk before you can run. Maybe better, learn to play drum first.”
For a fleeting instant my monkey mind dared protest, but quickly I conceded to the simple truths. “Yes I must master first the elements of being human, polish all the facets of my jeweled lotus flower.”

There’s a jewel of the lotus flower unfolding deep within our soul
To be the jewel of the lotus flower unfolding, is the highest goal
Hare
Om Mani Padme Hung
Om Mani
Om Mani Padme Hung

After singing a few verses, I picked up my drum and once again set out to master the new rhythm. As soon as my hands hit the drum, I lost track of the proper word order and melody of the beautiful rainbow chant. A smile broke out on my face, as I realized , “Yes there is still very much to learn about being human.”

My meditations were becoming clearer and clearer. At some point, the cosmos crystallized. It didn’t matter whether my eyes were open or closed, my galactic eye was awakened. Time was nearing for the worldwide meditation for peace. I set my sights on the boundary between love and evil. I headed for the frontier to see what was going on. Galactic navigation is sometimes too simple. When I got there, I had no idea where I was, but I knew I was out in deep space, far removed from mother earth. It was light where I was, but in the near distance I saw the wave surface of darkness. The boundary remained still in some areas and in others it pulsated, swallowing up covering vast expanses of light.
I pulled my perspective back and saw myself floating out in deep space like a child swimming in the deep dark sea. I was soon approached by a being of white light, heart visible, riding in some compact little vehicle. The look on his face was of astonishment, as if asking simultaneously, “How did you get here? What are you doing here? Do you even know where you are?”
I felt like a novice surfer who had somehow managed to paddle out past the break of a really big surf. And the other surfers know that I don’t belong out there. This jedi was more compassionate than most surfers, but his silent message was equally clear, “Dude, what are you doing out here, without even a spaceship or any type of protection. Do you even know what you are doing.”
I aligned myself with the power of God/Goddess, turned square to him, sent him a blast of earthly love, and said, “Yo brother! Tenasi here ready to help spread the love.”
He smiled at my bravery, gave me a thumbs up and flashed his heart back at me.
Just then a thunderous wave of darkness crashed down around us. The warrior reacted instantly spinning his ship and emitting a light so bright that it diffused the darkness.
A chain of implosions occurred almost simultaneously along our light horizon and the jedi raced off in that direction, once again leaving me alone in space, but no longer even near the darkness. The effect of his actions was immediate, the frontier of darkness retreated out of sight.
“I am body surfing out in the sea of killer waves.” I admitted, “I need a long board.”
Barely had I uttered the words when I saw myself inside a sporty spherical space ship.
I thanked the Jedi, played around in my new ship, and soon realized it amplified everything, my ability to shine, my speed to move through space.
After a while I tried to come back into my physical body, three-D land. I opened my eyes, and nothing changed. I was still sitting in my space ship. I came out of my sitting position and started exercising, push-ups, sit-ups. Nothing seemed to pull me back into the material world. I tried drumming and playing didjeridoo. The rhythms carried me through the cosmos, where I met numerous beings that harmonized with the particular vibrations. Playing the didjeridoo created long strands in space that stretched between dimensions,
merging white light with realities still separated from the infinite source of divine light.

There is a woman who weaves the night sky
See how she moves see her fingers fly
She is the needle and we are the thread
She is the weaver and we are the web

I sang, played music and traveled through the cosmos. I reckoned it had been eight days since Memo had last visited me. My body was empty, intestines clean, no physical distractions to pull me back. The time neared for the payer of universal peace, so I set my intention, please once again send me to the grenze, the frontier of light and dark, where the warriors of peace are shining light into the deepest realms of darkness.
And within a moment, I was back on the scene, seeing giants at play in the art of war. No jedis of light present, just super powers juggling nuclear bombs, masters of destruction threatening the fate of the three dimensional world.
But I choose not to play the game.
For I am a universal child of God/Goddess!

Lights on!
Radiant glow activated.
Connection to mother earth
From the navel down, a mountain sinking, melting
Heartfelt compassion and nurturing
Goddess Energy
From the crystal core center
Of gaia,

Opening
Wings of Heavenly love
Extending out from the heart
Unconditional love, Christ energy
To father sun, sister moon,
And the stars above,

Radiating out from the solar plexus
A universal connection with the beings of white light
Conscious connected awakening spirits
Ascended masters, and those on the path
My brothers and my sisters
Of ascension

It was kind of like jedi action with a light sabor, except being the light savior,
Shining life, love, birth, creation,
Holding the single minded purpose
Focus focus focus
The seed of Life must grow
Because the action, the thought, the rhythm
Must all be in line
With the will of God/Goddess
Maintaining the vision of recreating Eden
Filled with children of God/Goddess
Living in abundance and harmony
With the elementals, the nature spirits, the
Fairies, honey bees,
Can you see
Truthfully into these eyes
And recognize your true identity?

And the brilliant white light of all creation spread out from my little orb. But it wasn’t my light, it was the light God/Goddess, the light of the universal brother/sisterhood of beings of white (rainbow, all the colors of the spectrum) light. I had become a portal, through which beings of all types were free to move towards the light.
More sensitive energetic beings were drawn to me at first. Many gladly stepped through the window of opportunity to enter the light.
And again my conviction was reassured that even in the far reaches of the universe, the love of God, the divine light of God/Goddess is all powerful.
I met other light workers, our web of white light grew stronger and alchemized the heavy dense leaden energies of beings shrouded in darkness. Within the web of light workers, we were free to move about, come and go. As we parted from one another, we sang.

Merry we meet
Merry we part and
Merry we meet again

Time elapsed in the transformation of the human and non-human spirits
As they each embarked on the path of becoming the light
cleansing the doors of perception, releasing the burden of fear,
changing old ways and shedding new tears, as the ego dies a thousand deaths,
allowing the soul to be born anew
then passing through the rings of fire
to release desire, greed lust, hunger, anger, hate, selfishness, attachment
and confusion on the path to
at-one-ment.

And all was well for Tenasi in the cave retreat.
Between spells of light work I zipped back into the physical body without ever leaving the galactic world:
many times sitting up and lifting legs
flexing muscles to keep the blood pumping.
Both drumming and dideridoo
Became tools of transformation
Between dimensions
Hammering out lost rhythms
Reconnecting synapses
And then suddenly feeling the 6:8 rhythm

Do Gun Do Go Dun Gun Do Go Do Gun Dun Go

With the rhythm as fuel my space ship ignited
Blasting off in synchronistic gyration
And then I looked to my right and there was my friend Jose
Riding by my side
On a giant turtle
Spiritual warriors once again
The viel of separation lifted
The brotherhood gifted
By synergistic mystics
One heart, one mind, one love for the fulfillment of the divine plan

What an honor
I gave thanks to God/Goddess
For reuniting me with my friend and
I kept playing that rhythm
And the more I played the brighter grew the cave
The luminous love light of the one
Radiating out eternally

I still slept during this time but barely, when I did my dreams closely paralleled the events in my waking meditation. I surfed thru my solo time in the cave, equally divided between the tasks of striving towards my own self-mastery and the selfless giving and sharing of unconditional love and sacred wisdom…
And then this voluminous creature with a gaping jaw appeared before me
I breathed in complete compassion
Saw myself in its eyes
And breathed out love
“Yeah Yeah… Keep pumpin out the good stuff!” It said, it opened its mouth and started sucking in all of my love.
I reconnected to the earth Goddess mother and father sun God, solidified myself in the Christ consciousness web, and I spoke, “Greetings being! May you drink eternally from the life cup of God/Goddess.”
Like a volcanic eruption, laughter broke forth from its throat and caused a vacuum that I myself felt pulled into.
Again I attempted to reassert my divine connection to God/Goddess and as if reading my thoughts, the being grunted, “God? There are millions of Gods, who cares about your measly God, earthling.”
And with those words all of my roots were uplifted and I was once again thrust into chaos and infinite destruction, the spaceship tumbled and turned. A gigantic arm came out of this being who I began to realize was no individual being but merely a personified form of the wave of darkness. The dark hand engulfed me, sucking out my life force, extinguishing the lights in my space ship. All power stripped from my being.
Just as I had once momentarily left my physical body to avoid the impact of my fall in Venezuela, I was then shocked out of my fifth dimensional body. Just as my higher spirit must have looked down with compassion as my physical body tumbled down the hill into a heap of broken bones, I now watched my higher dimensional being, my blue body, my galactic self be swallowed by darkness.
My light continued to fade until it was so dim that I could barely see it in the darkness. But I knew what to do, “I have the tools, I can pump up the volume.”
I immediately began yogic exercises to strengthen my magnetic field. Slowly, very slowly I saw my energetic being begin to glow.
“Ah saved by the spiritual sciences.” I said and doubled my focus.
Just as I began to feel the luminous light appearing from within my being, the dark being laughed and from within it came another wave of darkness that splashed over me once again draining my life force.
Seeing only a brief battle lost I renewed my efforts.
I charged my inner fire, with manipura exercises: series of udiyana bandha contractions, nauli, hammer breath. After much time I felt my energy gates opening up. Again I saw my higher self begin to shine and again the arm of darkness reached out and engulfed me. My efforts were in vain.
Time and again I reached into my yogic bag of tricks, in an attempt to ignite my life light. But it was all for naught. I was caught in the rip tide of darkness and all my attempts to slip out of the current were failing. And then I remembered the drum.
I reached across the cave, grabbed it like a life vest and sent out the heartbeat to all tribal peoples, ancestors. And almost immediately I felt my power restored and I navigated through the darkness.
As I approached the actual border where I could sense being close to the light, the being again swatted at me sent me hurtling back into the depths. I shifted rhythms and intensified the tempo. Again I approached the edge and this time I saw the arm coming and yielded to its force, breathing in to then exert the same force to escape. And nearly had my tai-chi succeeded when jaws of darker death clamped down over both my own energetic body and the entire body of the enormous being that I was struggling to free myself from. Instantly I was enveloped deep into the realms of darkness again.
But with the drum in my hand, I was far from giving up. I switched rhythms to my newly mastered 6:8 rhythm and exploded in a frenzy of hand slapping. As the rhythm resonated through my cave, I looked up to my right to see if Jose was around, but he was no where to be found. I was deep in the black canyon, climbing solo up Stratosphere through bands of deadly pegmatite.
Too many years of higher education, twelve years of extreme climbing, fifteen years of yoga, three years of drumming, it had all been to prepare me for this moment to
Focus! Focus! Focus!
For the longest time, nothing happened. Deep in the shadows of darkness, I saw my dim orb of light fading, fading. Then I added breathwork to the drumming and a slight glimmer appeared.
“Yes there is still a chance.”
Hardly had I spoken the word chance when I again heard that soulless laughter and all light was sucked out of my being.
From the breathwork I allowed my voice to evolve into ecstatic chants and overtones. I called on my ancesters, the shakti power of the Goddess, I reached out to other light workers, but I was all alone. A saltless sweat beaded on my brow and then dripped down my face. Soon I was drenched in sweat beginning to feel despair. My efforts were not working, somehow I needed to slip through dimensions, a wrinkle in time.
“The Didj!”
Without missing but a few beats on the drum I grabbed my didjeridoo, braced it up against my lips so my hands were free and played accompaniment with the drum. The coordination was lacking at first, but slowly I was able to merge powerful rhythms with spiraling didj tones. The drumming boosted my power and the didj opened the portals.
As soon as I felt my energy strong enough to make the jump, I slid into one of the strands of space time, and…
“Yes! I am out of there.”
I looked around and saw I was in an unfamiliar part of the galaxy, but around me were other beings of mixed light. I had made it out of the darkness. But somehow I didn’t feel like I had made it out of danger. I felt haunted by my past, as moving to a new city to create a new life only offers a reprieve until that past catches up to you. I navigated over to an area where I saw the brightest concentration of light beings. How I longed to be surrounded by my loving rainbow family.
As I approached one of the smaller beings turned to greet me, and as she saw me a ghastly expression appeared on her face.
“No, don’t be afraid. I am a being of…”
And before I even had a chance to utter the word light, I felt/heard the emptiness of the implosion. I turned just in time see the tidal wave vortex of death literally suck the life force out of the entire new reality I had escaped to. Within a milli-second every being of life that I had just seen was gone, as if a nuclear bomb had just landed and evaporated the entire city. Without their physical bodies, I saw the strands of their spirit beings, our spirit beings drawn into the void.
“Oh no! My attempted escape from the darkness has now lead to even further destruction.”
Although in the darkness, I was still conscious. Were the other beings still conscious too? Did they have the wisdom of the spiritual sciences to help regenerate life. A sudden wave of guilt spread over me. Then insecurity. Do I even have the power to escape this darkness? I feared to use my spiritual tools, the drum and didjeridoo as any attempted escape might simply lead to another entire civilization being eradicated.
The didjeridoo quivered in my hand. “I have to try.”
My rational mind was in engineering mode. “Somehow the darkness had followed me through the portal. How can I pass through unnoticed?”
A vague idea came into my head. What if I slip through several portals and between each one I will shift my identity. If I can create enough energy with the drum, I can regain the power of manifestation, then switch rhythms and pass through another portal. It was worth a try.
I quietly beat out a heartbeat on the drum and slowly brought the didjeridoo into action. I visualized a separate reality, a planet with no life, but able to sustain life for my first destination. I couldn’t risk endangering other life forms by my idiocy. What an idiot I was. What was I doing out there? Who did I think I was? Barely had I learned to navigate the celestial cosmos, and there I go jumping into action like some kind of superstar, shining my light, playing with the power of God. And now look at me.
“You have to learn to walk before you can run” I heard the voice of my helper. Where was my helper now? Where was Jose? I searched and asked in vain for assistance, but none came.
I realized I had gotten myself into this mess and it was up to me to get out. I focused on the music and raising my energy level. I played until my fingers began to blister and my lungs burned and nothing happened. I saw my depleted self floating deeper and deeper into the darkness. “No!” I screamed into my didj and played with the frenzy of trapped wild animal. “The power of God is within me now!”
And slightly, ever so slightly my orb of light began to glow. Slowly I began to see the strands of trans-dimensional space seep into view. I waited, kept my intention focused and then when the time was right, I slipped through space time.
I emerged… It does not matter where, shift the rhythm, shape-shift, jump through another portal, aim back into the realm of life of light of love. I morphed into countless realities, but wherever I was I felt the imminent presence of the darkness close on my heels. I had to make it back to home base, Yahoo Falls of the Cherokee nation where all disputes melted into the compassion of mother earth. But if I go there am I just leading the white men, the strong arm of death into the sacred heart center, where they will be massacred just as our ancestors were only a few generations ago. No I cannot. No I will not. I made a mistake, I cannot sacrifice the light of others.
I stopped my fleeing, and within moments felt the now familiar sensation of being sucked into the vacuum of darkness. As it imploded I heard the voice of death, “Now you are doomed!”

The shock knocked me out of meditation, I felt my entire physical body jolt and I found myself back in the cave, staring into the darkness. I rubbed my hands over my face and chest. Yes I was still there. It was only a dream. No, a meditation. It can’t effect me here, whatever I do out there? I was asking, because I did not know.
I was tempted to get out of the cave and simply walk away, go climbing, escape my reality. But a greater sense of knowing told me to stay and face my fears.
I mulled around in the cave for a while, groping in the darkness. I shook out my blankets, organized my empty water bottles. I busied myself with the mundane reality and hoped that everything was the same as it was before.
But it wasn’t. For the first time in days, I was cold. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and tried to go to sleep. My body felt heavy and sleep came quickly. I awoke into a dream…
I was down on earth walking through some city with long aqueducts. No I wasn’t walking, I has being herded by a pack of ruthless Australian skin heads. I had no chains, no restrictions, just this pack of hateful kids on either side of me.
As soon as I was fully lucid in the dream, I manifested a way out of the situation. I jumped out of the pack and took off down a side street. Wham! Before I was even gone, they were there, pounding me.
“Dumb ass! You can’t escape.” one of them taunted.

I woke up and found myself back in the cave, still in utter darkness and cold. I started my routine of calisthenics to warm up and get the blood pumping through my body. And soon I felt energized and refreshed. I pulled out the last lemon dulce that I had been saving. I peeled it and without swallowing the pulp, I sucked on and savored each wedge, feeling the sweet nectar drip down my throat. The energy circulated through my body and renewed my spirits.
Although both my meditation and dream realities were plagued with darkness, at least I was still free in my physical body. I envisioned my connection with my brothers and sister of love and light, and began to sing songs of the heart.

Children of the earth tribe - rise up
Children of the earth tribe – rise up now
Some say namaste, some say omatakease
Some say om, others shalom
We all call mother earth our home
Protect her, respect her
Give her love don’t neglect her

It felt good to be earthly again feel my connection to the place I call home. As I sang my energy rose and rose. I chanted sacred songs from all over the world to connect with the essence of divine spirit. Eventually the inside of the cave started to shimmer again, and I felt the radiant glow appear from behind my head.

Om Mata Om Kali
Durga devi nama hey nama ho

Shakti Kundalini
Jagad ambe mata

As the walls of the cave gained illumination, I saw that they were still the walls of my space ship, except there was now a large hole on one side where I could peer out into the darkness of space. I didn’t want anything to do with space. I was happy to be back on mother earth connected and whole. I felt the vital energy flowing through my limbs…
And then I heard the sinister voice, “Now we have found you.”
Like a meteor descending from space, something hit the earth only a few hundred meters away and the shock waves knocked debris down from the roof of the cave. I picked up one of the clods of dirt that landed on my lap. I felt a cool chill sweep through my body. My hands were frigid. I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it had come for me.
“Well I ain’t no floating baby out in deep space down here. I am on the mother ship.”
As I launched into a series of clearing meditations and breathwork to energize my being, I felt the dark eerie essence creep through the earth towards my cave. I sank my roots way down deep, connected with the forces of nature, the ocean, the trees, the mountains and the stars above.
As it neared I felt fully activated and strong. The shadow of darkness, moving like a plague, closed in on the cave and crept in through the energetic hole. I started pounding out a rhythm and verbalizing my connection to the power of God/Goddess and telling it that it wasn’t allowed here. But my words held no power and the darkness soon filled the entire window. Then it began creeping around the sides of the cave. Defiantly I focused all of my will to push it out, but all to no avail.
The darkness seeped in, eventually working its way behind me to the source of my own illumination and extinguishing my flame. Gradually I saw the internal lights of the cave disappear and then finally go out so that I was again staring into the darkness.
Beyond that it kept draining my life force. Soon I felt achy and congested.
I tried to shake it out, but nothing seemed to help.
Finally I gave up and shriveled into a frigid heap on the floor. I pulled the blankets around me and tried to make it all go away.

Soon I awoke in dreamland, again being hounded my the thuggish Australians.
“So you want to make it to the council of the federation.” One of them laughed.
“There is no more council” another one added.
“There is liberation though!” I hissed back at them and dove into an aqueduct that we were passing. I swam with the speed of a dolphin, dashing through and around bridge pillars and rocks.
And then Bam! One of them swatted me and grabbed me by the neck.
“Oh so you like the water.” He said and began dunking my head and then slamming it against one of the concrete pillars.”
“Hey look the neophyte likes water!” He screamed to his laughing comrades.
Battered and bleeding he flung me back up onto the street, where I looked into the menacing faces around me.
“Where are you taking me?” I asked
“Where are you taking us?” One of them sneered.
“Shhh!” Snapped another, “We are taking you where you want to go. You are looking for the council hall of the federation of light beings. Right?”
“Isn’t that where you want to go?” Demanded another.
I nodded and they all broke out in laughter. Half dragging, half tossing me between one another like a rag doll, they carried me through the city. The whole time they laughed and taunted me.
“So you think you are a Jedi, huh?” said one as he slammed me into the gound.
“Ooh the council of the federation is gonna meditate together on universal peace.”
“Yawn.”

I woke up and found myself still wrapped up in my blanket. I was shivering, both nostrils were congested and a sharp pain creeped up my neck. I barely had the energy to sit up. I tried exercising, but was weak and my body felt like lead. I tried some breath exercises while laying down. I Felt a glimmer of energy return, but almost instantly felt it being sucked out of me.

I drifted back into dream time. I was inside the council hall of the federation. The hall was enormous, circular rows of seats extended up from a central stage. There was room for thousands of light beings, but it was almost empty. Clustered in the first few rows were a couple dozen illuminated beings who had gathered for the council.
I saw several elderly women, a grandmother rainbow figure, a few oriental women. I saw my friend Alisa and a few sisters that I recognized from Canada. Along the back rows were a number of young male warriors.
“Where are the other elders?” I asked the rainbow grandmother.
She shook her head and said, “There are not many of us left.”
There was no one heading the council, the members all seemed distracted and the atmosphere was heavy. I had that familiar feeling that darkness was hovering just outside.
I grasped for a way to help.
“Incense” I exclaimed. “We need incense to clear the energy.”
“Yes” Grandma rainbow agreed and she pulled out a beautiful shell to burn incense on. Several other people offered incense to burn. But we had no fire. A wave of embarrassment flooded over me, as I remembered my attempts in the cave to create fire. Some jedi I am.
“Does anyone have a lighter?” I finally asked amid laughter from the back rows.
My friend Alisa spoke, “Here I have one.”
I went over to her and she tried to light the incense but her lighter was out of fluid.
“Yo, I got fire.” This young warrior from the back row offered and he held up his right arm with a terminator style device affixed to the end of it that emitted a large flame.
Even as I was lighting the incense, there was much laughter amongst them.
As I stood up with the shell in my hand, another one of the young warriors sneered, “Get that shit out of here.” He waved his arm through the air emitting blast of chi that blew the shell right out of my grasp and scattered the burning incense across the floor.
One of the elderly Goddess beings came over to help me scoop the incense back into the shell. We looked at each others eyes as we finished and shared the seriousness of the situation. The darkness is all about, and now even within the sacred chambers of the federation council, there are beings tainted by evil.

I woke up again in my cave. Haunted by nightmares and ailing physically. I began to sink into despair. I needed help, but there was none. I thought about what had gone wrong. How was this darkness able to severe my connection with the divine light of God/Goddess? I prayed for help. I asked for the loving advice of the ascended masters. I sought out my friend Luke from Canada, the first true Jedi wizard I had met who had thrown fake punches and bear hugs at me to help bring awareness to aspects of my being that I had neglected.
But all of my requests simply fizzled out in the darkness around me. I felt doomed. I sat for hours, maybe even days in that comatosed, faded state. I pleaded to the Goddess and just then this little whisper of an idea floated through the cave. Like a thread of a spiders web broken off from the main part of the web, it drifted by me. Too weak to physically grab it, I seized it mentally and caught but an instantaneous glimpse of what it had to share with me.
In it I saw the light, the love of creation, the universal energy of life connecting the crystal core center of the earth with the sun and stars. And from the sun, the thread of light continued to the central sun of the galaxy, and from the central sun of the galaxy to the central sun of the universe where all the light of all the universe came together.
The verse of a rainbow song popped into my head

We all come from the one
And to one we shall return
Like a ray of light
Reaching for eternity

Could it possibly be that simple, could my definition of God/Goddess simply been to terrestrial based? Life is life. And the power of God is the power of the one God, the source of all life. Not just here on earth but throughout the entire universe.
Maybe it was true, but I was too tired to try again. I felt like a dying person who beholds the glory of God just before taking his last breath of air.
I started to dose off into slumber, but something smacked me in the cheek and I looked up and saw my friend Jose race by on his turtle. A smile spread across my lips as I thought about joining him.
Again I started to drift off to sleep and again I was awakened by a bang. This time the entire cave shook and more debris from the ceiling landed on me.
I sat straight up for a moment and waited. Nothing happened and slowly the heavy tired feeling crept back into me and I laid back down.
Again the cave shook, releasing a pile of debris on my face to wake me up. There in front of me was Jose, staring deep into my eyes, “Do Not Fall Asleep!”
He glanced behind him and sped off. Jose? I called. Was he really here. How had he found me. Had he chased me into the darkness?
I heard the echo of his words, “Do Not Fall Asleep!”
I shook my head, my neck was stiff, my whole body hurt. But I began the meditation focusing on my connection with the light, the love and the power of the Universal source of all creation. So exhausted and defeated, I barely had the concentration to align my energetic body. It felt like none of my chakras were spinning. All I had was faith.
I began with long deep abdominal breaths through my mouth since my nose was all stuffed up. At first my exhales were sighs, then I began rasping breath qigong cleansing techniques. It felt like I was a big ball of mucous and I started coughing up phlegm.
I looked out into the darkness and found my fifth dimensional being, barely visible in a broken down space ship.
With each inhale I breathed life into my being. As I started to glow the wave of darkness splashed over me, and I was surprised to see my light continue to shine. Encouraged by this I increased my efforts until I felt my the luminous love light of the one radiate out from my core being. How to fix my space ship? I had almost forgotten, “The power of God/Goddess is within me Now.”
I have the power to repair my space ship. And instantly it was repaired.
As the menacing faces of darkness hovered over me, I spoke, “I am a being of Universal God/Goddess, a conduit of light from the crystal core center of the earth to the sun, to the central sun of the galaxy to the center of all creation in the universe. Within this being of pure white light there is no space for darkness, there is no space for death. The forces of darkness have no power here.”
And they truly didn’t. Despite the wrath of evil, erupting all about me. I held my course, no longer fleeing from the heart of darkness, but on a pilgrimage shining brightly within it. Several times Jose whisked by me on his turtle. As the light pierced the shadows, individual beings appeared that once blended into the darkness. As I passed them by, I opened the invitation for them to choose to join the light, to come with me out of the deep jungle of darkness back to the loving sanctuary of God/Goddess.
From all directions fragile beings clung to my ship. Before I even reached the frontier, I realized I needed a bigger ship. Instant manifestation. I was now captaining a larger ship with enough room for all of the passengers.
As we left the realm of darkness, thunderous waves attempted to crash down on us and suck us back into the depths. Nuclear implosions sounded near, but our path was now truly the divine path and the forces of darkness were powerless.
We paralleled the edge of darkness for a long time, allowing many beings to join. And then came the question, “Where are we going?”
I felt the pull of my heart for a moment and said, “To join with the sacred universal rainbow family of illuminated beings, to reclaim our indigenous lands, to establish the rainbow corridor of harmonious eco villages. We are returning to recreate Eden on earth.”
As I spoke those words, I looked up and saw the space ship had once again morphed into a galactic cruiser.


Sky dancer, dance into the night
We give our whole being to open up our sight
So we may see the visionary landscape unfurl
So we can dance through the cracks between the worlds